>The Place Where It Began….

>A few days ago I wrote about moving, and how we need to, sooner than later. So that inspired me to look at houses online…

And today we went to look at a house… I loved it. It was perfect for me. Missy had a few “i wish” things about it, but overall she loved it too. That’s all I’m going to say about it right now, because it’s all in the works, and may not even work out… and that’s not really what this post is about (but, whether or not we get the house, when it’s decided, I’ll write about it.)

But… I was just sitting here thinking about moving, and the strangest thought hit me.

In the past 1.5-2 years, I’ve really grown to hate the house we live in now. For a year or year and a half, I really did love it, but then things happened, and our family grew, and I learned to hate it. We didn’t even bother to decorate when we moved it, we have NO art hanging on any of the walls, etc. It always felt temporary. But now that the possibility of moving on has presented itself, I got really nostalgic about one thing. (I will say goodbye to our yard/deck, my garden and rose bushes, sun room, and other parts that I do love, with no problems).

But as I sat on the bed with Lilian, I remembered that we MADE her in this room. She was an idea… then we made her. And she was conceived right here in this room. And I grew her in my belly in this house. And then we took our 6.5 pound baby home, and she looked so tiny in her carseat, and we ate Thai food while she napped on the table that day, in this house. I’m not reall sentimental about any of her other firsts here, but for some reason, thinking about leaving the room where she received life is making me sad right now. I know it’s not a magic room that makes life, but in this moment it kind of feels like it is. It’ll pass… and the last time I walk out of this room with its ugly gray walls (the painter F-ed up the paint color, it was supposed to be taupe), I’m sure I’ll be glad to move onto bigger and better (literally), but right now as Lilian and I sit in this spot, the very spot where she began, I feel a little nostalgic.


Posted on September 15, 2010, in conception, house, lilian, long island, moving, nostalgia, TTC. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. >I SO get where you are coming from. We moved into our house out of a little apartment when Lily was a few weeks old. I was sad to leave the place where she was made. It had its own magic. We moved into that place as a family of two and moved out as a family of three. Although I would not want to go back, it holds a special spot in my heart just for that reason.

  2. >That's such a beautiful and sad thought. I hate my house and want to move too, but you're right, it's still the place where good things happened… xxx

  3. >this place will live on in your heart!! Happy ICLW #100

  4. >Thanks for the little reality check! I sometimes wish our place were bigger, had more closets, and so on… but when I think of all the good things that have happened there, and the good people who have passed through, it's nearly impossible to not love every (cluttered) square foot. 🙂 Happy ICLW!

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