>Where to go, where to go?

If you could up and move anywhere you wanted… and have a do-over on your life, where would you go?
(That’s an actual question, I’d love to hear your answers in my comments!)

Well, that’s where we are right now.

Our house is not suitable for us to keep living in for many reasons. I can’t get into full details, because this is a public blog and my aim is not to cause drama, but I will just leave it at: When this house was purchased, it was a fixer-upper. And the owner of the home, just never got around to fixing it up, even though we pay rent, and it’s falling down around us. And even if it were fixed up, it’s too small for us. It’s a beach cottage, it has two bedrooms, one bath, and only 7 rooms total if you count the bathroom and laundry room. We lost one of our major storage areas when the basement flooded in March (destroying nearly all of Lilian’s stored baby things), and well… we just need to move. We plan to expand our family at some point, and this house is too small for 3 people, let alone 4+.

And the location… we hate it. We didn’t choose to live here, and it was supposed to only be temporary. (For those not in the know, we live on Long Island, NY, on the south shore, about 62 miles from Manhattan and about 20 miles from the Hamptons, so we are allll the way out east). We owed a condo in Hoboken, NJ (and we loved the years spent in Hoboken), but with the plans of a family, I wanted to move somewhere where we could have a private house, with a yard and a driveway. So, we moved into this house (owned by a family member) on a temporary basis while our condo sold, then our goal was to move on. Our condo sold 6 months after we moved here, but by the time the sale went through, I was already pregnant… and well, one thing lead to another, and now it’s been 3 years and 2 months and we’re still here. We would never have chosen this location, but it was easier than finding a place we thought was going to be temporary, and for a while, I really did love this house… but here we are.

Now it’s time to move on. But where? We are literally in a situation where we can relocate anywhere we want (and where we can find a suitable house and a new job for one of us), and it’s so hard to decide! We are currently only considering the northeast, because we’re from NJ and NY and basically all/most of our friends and family are in the northeast (with a large speckling in California too), and it’s just the weather and scenery that suits me. Also, being a two-mom family, we want to stay in a region that recognizes our marriage and/or is accepting of it. Somewhere in the Bible Belt or in the dead of the midwest probably isn’t appropriate. Also, I hate hot weather. Seriously, heat makes me irrationally angry and depressed, so moving anywhere much south of where we currently are wouldn’t make sense either.

It’s funny because I grew up in suburban New Jersey. I went to college in Manhattan and lived there for 7 years, thinking that it was “crazy” for anyone to want to live anywhere else. Manhattan was the center of the universe as far as I was concerned, and I wanted to be right there in the middle of it. Well, that faded and we edged out to Hoboken. While not in the center of it all, I was not only on the horizon, but I had a beautiful view of the center. Then we moved further out by 60 miles, back to a suburb. And now I feel like I need an even more rural move. Funny how people grow and change. I want nature, and space, and privacy, and farms, and fresh food, and clean air, trees and animals. Strip malls and highways can stay here, I want to go somewhere else.

So… we’re looking. Right now we’re considering The Hamptons (I know, still Long Island, but somehow it’s different, and more rural too) where we know a lot of people, so we’d have the advantage or family/friends nearby, job opportunities, and neighbors we “know”. But we’re also considering Lancaster, PA, one of the places I’ve visited in the past ten years that really felt like it could be home. And later this month, we’re going to visit Vermont, and while we’re there, see if that’s somewhere we could live (I think it will be and we’ll love it). I’ve always loved Rhode Island. And I’ve been jokingly telling Missy for 5+ years that I want to move to Stars Hollow (the fictional, quirky, small New England town from The Gilmore Girls).

Where will we wind up? I have no idea. And since we’re looking at rentals, and Lilian has 3 more years before kindergarten, we’re not making a forever commitment, maybe just a 1-3 year commitment. But I’m ready for the adventure. I’m ready for the next chapter in our lives. This is a unique and awesome position we’re in, and I’m ready to jump on the opportunity.

(Photo of the map of the east coast borrowed from the web. If this is your photo and you’d like me to remove it, let me know!)


Posted on September 13, 2010, in home, house, lancaster, long island, moving, vermont. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. >If you decide you'd like to consider Central New York, you know you've always got a place to stay while you explore the area! Good luck with the hunt.

  2. >i would love to live in paris!if you're looking for rural, vermot's got it. although, there is a lot of farmland here in RI – it's not all "big city" providence :Dmary

  3. >Thanks for the offer, Mark! We'll take you up on it if we are considering the region! (I still remember the vineyard you took us to, the drive there was so beautiful!)Mary – I know. There are so many small, cute towns on the tiny roads that connect Newport and Providence, I know because I took "the long way" once because I didn't feel like asking for directions… and Missy wanted to kill me!

  4. >I am so excited for you all, you know we just did that and finally found our HOME. Hugs.

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