>Two Moms and a Baby Walk Into a BakeShop…

>

OK… so two moms and a baby walk into a bakery/cafe…

Missy went to the counter to order our snacks/drinks and I sit down at a table with Lilian. She is wearing a purple/lavender striped onesie with overalls. They don’t have high chairs so she’s just sitting on a regular chair. The restaurant has about 10 tables that seat 2-4 each.. tiny, close together! It’s a cafe, not a restaurant. ( http://www.littlecupcakebakeshop.com ) At the table next to us is an old woman (75?), grandma age. She has one of those “carts” that old ladies push in NYC for their groceries/laundry ( in case you don’t know what i mean: http://theunderweardrawer.blogspot.com/2008/06/30-is-new-70-i-was-on-call-saturday.html ) , a newspaper on her table, and NO food or beverage. She’s clearly a neighborhood busybody and I knew we were in trouble. Lilian had been in the car for a long time (3 hours?) so when we got there, I gave her a drink… formula in a bottle. Lilian drinks juice/water from sippy cups, but still has some bottles a day. Is she a little old for that? Yes. Is it the end of the world? Probably Not. Is is any of anyone else’s business? Certainly not. So… the woman interjects… “how old is he?” And I say “she’s almost 20 months”. And she says “And he’s STILL drinking a bottle?” (Notice the gender discrepancies…. not an accident, but i let it go.) So I ignore it, turn my head from her, and go back to interacting with Lilian. Food/drinks come… I go get a BUTTER knife to slice my cupcake in half to give Lilian half, Missy has a bottled water, I have a bottle of iced tea… we all have a cupcake. Lilian reached out and took Missy’s water bottle. She was just holding it… not “doing” anything… and I hear “you better take that away from him, he’s gonna spill. No, no don’t put it there, put it on the other side of the table where he can’t reach it.” *sigh* Ok, grandma. Enough. We ignore her more and Missy and I try to have a conversation. “Look! He’s got a knife!” I was totally aware that Lilian had picked up the butter knife. She wasn’t doing anything with it, she was fine. But I take it from her to make this old lady shut up. We try to continue a conversation. “I can’t believe you’re letting him eat cake before dinner! He’s gonna spoil his appetite!” OMG! Really?!?! Shut the fuck up, no one asked you! It was 2PM!!! Not even close to dinner!!! Seriously, every time Missy and I tried to talk, she was interrupting. From another table! So I finally turn to her and say “She’ll still eat her dinner, it’s hours away… and she’s a GIRL!!! A girl!” And you know what that bitch says?!?! “With that haircut, she looks like a boy. That’s a boy’s haircut. She needs to have loooong hair like her mommy.” Are you fucking serious? Who says that?!?! Why not just say “oops, sorry, my mistake.” And she had freakin’ purple on! I was moments from losing my mind. So we packed up the rest as leftovers and left. Then we remembered we wanted to bring some for Rich and Lizzie (who we were seeing later), so we went back in and Missy got some to go, and I went to the bathroom to change Lilian. On our way out, the bakery had a huge rubbermaid container with stuff in it, and Lilian peeked inside…. that bitch starts saying “he thinks his toys are in there! He wants to go home and play with his toys!” I had to pick up Lilian and walk out the door silently…. or I really would have gone OFF on her. I may have even missed/forgotten/blocked one of her rude interjections because there were so many. She seriously didn’t let us enjoy our postponed-Missy’s-birthday-family-date at a bakery Missy was dying to try! So fucking rude and annoying. And the bakery staff saw she was harassing us… but didn’t say anything… further proving she’s the Neighborhood Busybody.

Anyway… if you ever go to The Little Cupcake Bakeshop in Brooklyn, and you see a red haired old lady sitting in there alone… do NOT sit near her.

And for those interested, the cupcakes were good, but didn’t blow my mind. They tasted like they came right out of the Magnolia Bakery cookbook. Only they had more flavors. Except… the red velvet. We took one home, and i had a few bites last night, and a few today… and thinking about it all day, it’s the best red velvet cake/frosting I’ve ever had. It was spectacular red velvet. All the rest, good, but OK. So, if you are there, taste the red velvet, but stay AWAY from the red fox!

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Posted on April 8, 2010, in anecdotes, brooklyn, cupcakes, lilian, nyc, restaurants, rude strangers. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. >I think I would have punched that lady in the face. Why do random strangers feel they can give advice?? And I hate when people call my daughter a boy and she is obviously dressed in "girl" colors. She has short hair too and has never had a haircut. Like i can help the way it grows.

  2. >I've always admired the way you handle assholes with class and grace.

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