>I'm a depressed person. I'm depressed, depressing, and if you know me,
you know this.
But every so often, this moment of clarity and pure joy shines through
my day. And since having Lilian I have these moments daily. And the
older she gets, the more of these moments I recognize.
Last night, I spent most of my New Year's Eve watching Dora (the same 2
episodes over and over). But there was this moment, when I was sharing a
Fugi apple with Lilian and her little hips were wiggling along with a
Dora song, and she had apple juice dripping down her chin… and I
thought "I've never been happier in my whole life."
She has a certain dance move she does, kinda like driving a bus, when
she hears the Family Guy theme song… and it makes me think she's the
best dancer to grace the earth (OK, maybe not, but definitely the
funniest kid alive.)
There are times I feel love, or pride, or awe… but I'm not talking
about those. I'm talking about These Moments of… elation. There's no
Sometimes these moments aren't about Lilian. The feeling of driving in
any direction away from a city… and feeling the buildings get further
and further apart, until all you can see is farmland, feels like a brick
is lifted off my chest and I can breathe again… and I have a moment of
elation. But it's because she's in my life that I can recognize These